A walk on the beach

Between April 2010 and the summer of 2011, I traveled frequently to Denmark to visit the Empress. Here's an account of one of our weekends together:


i traveled to Copenhagen to visit Her last weekend and, having stopped at her favourite S&M shop (http://sm-shop.dk/butik/) and a pet shop to buy me a leash, we drove over the amazing bridge separating Denmark from Sweden for some training. This in part as preparation for next week's Cruel Huntress event in Kent where i will be her prey.

Highest of The Empress' priorities was to walk me on the leash in public; she decided to do this in Sweden, judging that the Swede's reserve would mean there would be little overt reaction. Once over the bridge (through a customs point which featured in a recent episode of Wallander) we drove some 20 kilometres down the coast to a small, upscale resort called Skanor.

As i stepped out of Her car, the Empress told me to kneel, She buckled on my collar and attached the leash. What then followed felt to me one of the most extreme D/s scenes i have ever experienced. The Empress was enjoying Herself hugely, behaved as if having a 50 something man on a lead was entirely natural and proceeded to take me on a tour of the harbour and along the beach which was populated mostly by kite surfers. i kept my eyes fixed on her boots for the most part; certain that the laughter i could hear as we passed the surfers was directed at me. To my great discomfort she stopped to pat a passing dog (which had been allowed off the leash), and chat to its owner. The fact that i couldn't understand a word of what was being said just reinforced my sense of helplessness.

After this initiation as Her pet, we found a nearby hotel which had just one room left; the whole of the rest of the place had been booked by a wedding party, many of whom were wearing traditional costume. Our room had a balcony overlooking the reception in the garden below; Empress insisted that i wear a skirt, stockings, suspenders and high heeled boots as we sat outside and drank a glass of wine.

The following morning we took another walk around the town. I was only allowed off the leash when we saw children; unfortunately for me there were none in the supermarket where every holiday maker in the place seemed to be buying ingredients for a picnic. The queue for the checkout was particularly excruciating.

i had a fantastic weekend. Thank the lord for Swedish reserve.

A fresh start

I'd almost forgotten that I ever started this blog. It's been such a long time since I wrote anything here and so much has happened in the three or four years since I last posted: three relationships started and finished, a further re-assessment of my sexuality and, in the past few days, what looks as if it may be the beginning of the next phase.

My relationship with Mistress Molly finally ended a couple of years ago. I had flown out to Australia where we were going to do some work together; she had already been there for a few weeks. She told me when we met at my hotel for lunch that she was no longer my Mistress. We continued to work together for another year or so but, at the end, we became incapable of having any kind of discussion without an argument. Eventually, after a period of bitter negotiation, I sold her my shares in our joint business and moved on.

I was, by then, in another D/s relationship. A couple of months after I returned from Oz, I met the Empress at a conference and market in Cannes. We were at a reception and sat together over dinner. The Empress is Danish. She told me that I looked as if I needed a hug and came back to my apartment with me; she told me that she was particularly interested in anal sex. I thought she just meant receiving but within a week I had learnt that she was as interested in fucking me.

It was supposed to be a 'conference' fling but I had not counted on the intervention of Eyjafjallajokull. The volcano erupted on the day we were due to fly home. Our flights were canceled and we decided to travel together. It was an epic journey that involved a flight to Germany, trains to Brussels and Paris, a motor cycle taxi from Paris to Caen, a ferry across the channel and, finally, a cab home from Portsmouth.

The Empress stayed with me in N16 for ten days. In that time I became her pet: collared, feminised, chastised.

Hello Darling

I'm in the Secret Garden internet cafe just off Poppies Lane. It was odd walking up from my hotel and walking past the cafe where we ate cheese sandwiches yesterday; little moment of missing you and the kids.

So, anyway, this was just to confirm that you are the only other person who has access to this blog. I think I may as well just delete it; there's no point in keeping it now. It was interesting to have people I'd never met leave comments but I guess I'll just keep anything I write to myself from now on.

A good day

R said:

"Today I ate a lot of sugar, traveled on National Rail, had a scotch egg and fucked you with a butt plug."

"Obviously it was the best day of my trip."

"Apart from seeing the Spice Girls, that is."

Learning the hard way

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How I met R

R arrived from New York early on New Year’s Eve.

I had met her at the Pleasure Salon in the basement of a bar in the Bowery in December and found myself kissing her almost before we’d spoken. It was her friend’s fault.

I was at the bar next to a tall, funky brown woman wearing black leather boots with impossibly high heels. I admired them and suggested that they were the kind of footwear that many people would be happy to kneel at and kiss. I asked whether they’d ever been serviced in this way and, if not, to christen them myself. She said that she’d consider my offer and agreed that the boots brought out the dominant in her.

To demonstrate this, she starts to issue some commands. She tells me to introduce myself to her friend R, then to kiss her. After demanding to be kissed herself, she redirects my attention to R.

“No,” She tells me. “You can do better than that. Kiss her like you want to fuck her.”

The kissing spreads; I find myself in a passionate embrace with Sandi, a gay guy I’d met earlier in the day. I had never understood that stubble could be erotic and it’s something of a revelation that in some circumstances it’s ok not to shave.

As the evening progresses I lose touch with R but as I’m leaving the bar I find T, the tall woman, looking for me.

“There you are,” she says. “I was worried you’d gone”. She pulls me into the upstairs bar where R is nursing a glass of white wine. “I want you to take her home with you”. I look at R. She thinks it’s funny but she’s not saying ‘no’.

“Of course I will”, I say. “If you insist and R wants to”.

“I do and she does. Go.”

It’s freezing on the streets of New York and we take a cab the three blocks to my hotel. The cabbie clearly thinks we could have walked.

In my room, we undress quickly. I kneel by her on the bed.

“Tell me what you like,” I say.

She speaks so softly, I can barely hear the reply.

“I like to be spanked”, she says.

Serving Molly

When I was Mistress Molly's slave, I often used to submit to her via chat: not least because she spends part of the year in Australia.

This is the transcript of one session in November 2006:



Mistress Molly: are you on your knees?

thursday: i am sitting
i will get naked and kneel for you

M: you need to tell me what you are doing
and make sure it is things i would want
i want you on your knees
in front of your Mistress

t: i am kneeling on the floor by the bed
the light is low
and my head is bowed

M: i want you in the lowest of B Thursday

t: i place hands on either side of Your feet
with your head on the floor
kissing my boots
and lower my head to the floor
keeping my buttocks in the air
skin stretched taught
back curving down
as i press my lips to the black leather of your boot
kissing Your foot with my eyes closed

M: i smack my crop down on you

t: i run my tongue along the soft leather on the instep

M: Thursday

t: i gasp involuntarily

M: i want to hurt you tonight

t: yes, Mistress
i understand, Mistress
thank You

M: you have made me quite upset

t: i am sorry, Mistress
i did not mean to

M: you deserve to be down on the floor

t but i know i deserve punishment

M: obviously

t: for my behaviour in Amsterdam
i tremble slightly
anticipating the bitter lash

M: so tell me the story

t: but i cannot prevent an erection

M: i am the one who deserves to come Thursday

t: which story, Mistress?

M: the story that will make me come tonight
about what happens now with you bringing your punishment book to me

t: my Mistress will take pleasure tonight in seeing her slave
bound tightly in front of her
the softest and most vulnerable parts of his body
exposed to her cane and crop

M: i am not her
i am me

t: yes, Mistress
forgive me

M: i have been waiting for You
and prepared the implements You asked for
crawl to me with your Book of Errors and beg for forgiveness
the St Andrew's Cross, the cuffs for wrists and ankles
the blindfold and the gag
i have laid them on the table with the canes, the crop
and the flogger
i am not doing the typing tonight Thursday

t: on my hands and knees i crawl to your throne
and lay my collar on Your knees
You twist my hair between Your fingers
put your own collar on
pulling my head back sharply to look sternly into my eyes
i fasten the collar around my neck

M: thats better

t: i surrender to Your will, slipping into subspace
Mistress, please forgive me for my errors

M: I doubt I will

t: please discipline me severely, i know i need to be trained
i broke Your rules and must be corrected
i will fetch the Punishment Book, Mistress, with Your permission
i crawl to the desk and unlock the drawer where the black leather Punishment Book is kept
slowly, i crawl back to Your throne and kneel timidly at Your feet
i lay the Book open on the floor by your feet
and assume the penitent's position, E, to read to You
'on September 28th, i argued with You in public
and was rude to Your friends
later the same evening, i did not come when you called
because i was sulking
for these offences i know i must be severely punished
i do not deserve to have You as my Mistress
and i offer you my suffering as a token of my devotion
i abase myself at your feet, Mistress
i fetch the thin, whippy cane in my mouth and lay it at your feet
You ask me to repeat the date of my offence
it was the 28th, Mistress
You tell me that i will receive 28 strokes of the cane and tell me to kneel
with my bottom in the air and my face on the floor
but only after you have tied the blindfold firmly around my eyes
You tell me that You had considered gagging me
but You prefer to hear my cries and that You want me to be able to beg for mercy
pleas that You intend to ignore
You want me to understand the difference between an erotic spanking and
punishment
You intend to teach me a lesson that i will not forget
You tell me to put reach behind me so that my hands are close to my ankles
You clip the cuffs on my wrists to the leather bracelets on my ankles
my bottom is raised and exposed
my cheek is pressed hard against the floor
i start to tremble and feel myself beginning to sweat
i cannot see, there is no light
i hear the clack of your heels behind me as you stand
i can feel a shiver as goose bumps rise on my skin
but it's not because i'm cold
i flinch as i feel the unmistakeable caress of the cane trailed gently across
my buttocks
i try to relax, breathing deeply, preparing to accept the pain
i know that if i am tense, the pain will be greater
now i feel the cane motionless across my bottom for a moment
then it is gone and i hear its sinister hiss through the air before
aaaaaaah
i cannot help crying out at the sudden cutting pain of the first blow
i jerk against my restraints, squeezing my eyes tightly
i try to process the pain
i seek the safety of subspace
i hear Your soft voice
'What do you say, thursday?"
Thank You, Mistress
'Count for me, thursday"
One, Mistress
too slow, thursday
We'll have to start again
i force myself to relax my hands